All right, we will all grudgingly concede that he is rather blessed when it comes to the effeminate spindly fingers, those unnatural cheekbones, and those dreamboat gray eyes (so much deeper than that Edward Nobody's mythic soulful ones! Sigh ... *Get a hold on yourself, Woman!*... Right, sorry ...). Yes, he exhibits a fine degree of carefully crafted, yet seemingly ingenuous, self deprecating humor when he claims "Proud of what?! It's just luck!", but what the heck is Robert Pattinson thinking questioning the unscrupulous intentions of his upstanding, and hopelessly obsessed female fan base?! Per usual, I procrastinate writing my graduate school essays by watching some youtube interviews of him yet again, (Try not to rub it in too much, I despise my existence enough for all of us.) and he seems to believe some of us want his autograph for the sole reason of peddling the damn thing on ebay! *African American finger wave: Uh uh!* An ebay search revealed only 27 listings of his penmanship, most of which were reprints. (Autograph reprints are a bit of a slap on the face of the entire concept surrounding autographs I think. Are we really so incapable of dexterity that we would want a computer generated facsimile of someone's name in cursive? I thought the whole point was to own a piece of memorabilia which somehow connects you to the legend, not that RPattz is a legend, but more on that later.) It's a pretty sorry figure I think, even perez hilton shower drain hair resulted in 32 results! So obviously, either people are hoarding said autographs he's clearly been signing by the scores on those million publicity "screaming sessions" that he's done in November to elicit a huge profit when the market is starving for some spunk ransom, or people are keeping those sweet mementos wrapped up nicely in a Ziploc, beneath their own pillows, hoping for sweet dreams at night.
He needs to be a bit more trusting of his audience. People don't stomp all over their own self esteem by pleading "Robert .... Please Robert!", pushing at each other's faces to get 2 inches nearer to him while holding out their promotional photos, successfully vanquishing any vestige of dignity left, to sell the precious article, that shared moment, for a few measly bucks!
While on the subject of his autograph (*Why?!*, I don't know why, my fingers have a life of their own right now!), those of us who see any more than 5 interviews of him, know that he detests that ridiculous misnomer placed upon him, RPattz. I really resonate with how he mentions it sounds like antacid! Then why the dickens does he sign off as an R Patt[illegible letter]?! And lemme tell you, it's a pretty stunted R! I would think with all the experience he has of signing those damn photos, he would have a nice 2 letter doodle down pat, but it looked like he had some candy (and those consequent convulsions) right before each sign off, and couldn’t hold it together the 2 seconds it takes to put pen to paper. Maybe I'm being too hard on him, maybe this is just a thinly veiled attempt at cursing my own fate to not have been one of those lucky few in those stampede prone Hot Topic events he graced! Regardless, you need to give your fans some credit and get your bum down to La La Land and sign some real autographs for all us damsels in wthdrawal Robert!
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